Quest for the Grail, A Vision Quest to Mental Freedom

I studied to be an archeologist and continue to this day. The study of many ancient peoples, their beliefs, and customs. Many other -ology’s and -osophy’s soon followed. Choosing to sit, listen and learn from them all seemed logical. They will never care how much you know until they know how much you care. My life has been a quest from the start. I have found the soul's journey is not one size fits all but there are many similarities in the paths of the ascended masters and the peoples of the world.

As an American of the U.S.A, I am the mutt of the world. A compilation of many backgrounds and creeds. A true melting pot of cultures and besides the mutt is the strongest breed, the freest of genetic defects. The scrappy upstarts with the “Don’t tread on me” vibe.

My heritage includes the Germans, French, Irish and Cherokee. One known for ingenuity, one for refinement of culture, and two known for the love of being wild and free but civilized as well.

The knights of old Europe were known for the quest of the grail. The Druids of old would commune with the forest and the oak tree and the Cherokee were known for their vision quests. All of these were rites of passage among their people and they are all the same thing. They are a quest for vision or direction in life itself. They are my ancestors and my people.

When I studied belief systems and world religions I came across similar stories. Buddha left the prestige of a place and set off into the wilderness and sat under a tree. Abraham left Sumer and set out to find his promised land. Jesus got up and walked into the desert alone for 40 days. Mohammed followed suit later and walked away from society and found a cave. Lao Tzu walked into the wilderness and eventually was never heard from again. Krishna wandered all over the Indus valley unattached and lived an interesting life. They were all men who got up and left it all behind to awaken to their own life’s meaning. It must be done alone.

“Only in time spent alone can you become ALL ONE”

-Robert Quest

I was at a crossroads in my life when it occurred to me. I had been dying a slow death over an 8 year period with no cure or prognosis in sight. One more test after so very many offered a solution. It required major surgery and time was of the essence. I survived that surgery and it made me question everything I had been living for up to that moment. You could call it existential, you could call it finding meaning for life itself. This was a man’s search for meaning, my meaning. I only own me, after all.

I couldn’t walk across a room without blacking out 2 years prior, my driving privileges had been revoked due to it and I was about to fast and embark on what ended up being a 60-day journey with 40 days of it spent in a tent in the wilderness alone.

They all pulled it off so why couldn’t I? How did they prepare? What did they all do before setting out on their journey? Choosing the best practices of them all seemed like the logical conclusion. So I fasted, I sun gazed, I learned to ground and earth. Meditation was a standard-issue among them all. An adventure of a lifetime I called it. I prepared in the many practices of my ancestors and the time had come to do this.

Human beings are built for adventure, accepting the challenges of a life well lived.

— Robert Quest

I fasted for 16 days prior to the start of the journey on nothing but juice, vitamins, and water. The first 3 days are the toughest, after that my energy increased. At 9 days an incredible peace and happiness enveloped me, my energy increased even more. At 16 days I felt like electricity was running through my veins. I was on to something here and it was time to launch this adventure. I was going to “Viva la Vida” my happy ass down my own yellow brick road with my heart, brains, and courage.

My car was all packed with my camping gear. I lived on the coast so I drove to the Atlantic and dipped my feet ceremoniously as I laughed to myself. This will be a trip across America, fasting from the world, unplugging from the rat race, and I will live in a tent for at least 40 days, I told myself. It was my call of the wild and I will answer the call.

The Smoky and Blue Ridge mountains were my first stop. I endured the extreme heat and humidity of the south and the thunderstorms that followed them in our extended in Tennessee. My campsite was ransacked by a pack of raccoons with their eyes all aglow at night. Two feral kittens showed up and I chose to bring them along after a stop at the veterinarian. Together we will find you a home somewhere along the way but it is unsafe out here among the predators.

The next stop was Kentucky where I camped lakeside under the full moon. The reflection upon the water added a surreal effect to the stars and moon above. I endured even more stifling humidity with more thunderstorms of the turbulent summer variety over the next week. This was true freedom and the therapy of nature was soothing to the soul.

The Trail of Tears was picked up as I crossed over the Ohio River on a drive-on ferry into the land of Lincoln. Illinois down south has no semblance to Chicago, it is vast beautiful forests and it brought to mind the Civil War when this river divided two ideologies. Abraham Lincoln was a man who faced adversity and changed his mind when it came to “All men are created equal”. A poor man who bought a barrel of unwanted books and taught himself law.

The Gateway arch was beckoning as I crossed the Missouri River into St Louis with 2 kittens still in tow. We toured the “Gateway to the West” down on the river before making our way to a rooftop lounge overlooking Busch Stadium as we took in a Cardinals night game. My 2 orphans were getting more love from men and women alike up on the rooftop. They were the VIPs that night.

We headed out of St Louis and picked up the Lewis and Clark expedition trail. We picked up the pace while slipping through Kansas City and into Kansas for a stay. Then it was off to exploring Iowa and a museum dedicated to Lewis and Clark. I learned Lewis and Clark took their adventure of a lifetime too.

The drive through Iowa ended with a night spent in the car and we arose early to enter the Great Plains of South Dakota as the sun was rising. We headed west for the Black Hills were calling our name. I stopped to refuel many hours later and noticed a sign for the Badlands. No vision quest could possibly be complete without camping the Badlands so this was a must. Before even entering the gate I had to stop and admire the beauty of an American Bison perched right off the side of the road. We shared a moment and locked eyes. We were two of a kind enjoying the best of life and the freedom of nature herself.

The temperature hit 110 degrees that day as I sat up camp but it was nothing compared to the humidity of the south we had endured. We hiked the barren Badlands and experienced just how it got its name as the settlers before me had crossed this unforgiving territory. The mountain goats we encountered were so agile climbing up and down this rocky terrain as I was struggling to keep my footing. This was bliss as we planned on making our way west in a few short days.

A vision quest is a test of mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual resolve. I was feeling the toll in all those areas as this journey progressed but so thankful just the same. I had been eating light and clean since breaking the fast at the beginning of the journey. I was eating for fuel and I intermittent fast to this very day. This is proving to be a test of endurance and determination.

We broke camp and headed west just enjoying the scenery of the open plains and stopping to take it all in along the way. This was the wide, wide open of the American west. The Black Hills were on the horizon as I passed through so many towns that had populations on the signs. Most were in the 100s and double digits. The town we chose here I almost missed it and had to turn around with its population of 30.

This was in Wyoming right on the border of South Dakota. We stayed in what I call a wild west lodge but simpler and quaint for an extended stay. You could throw a rock and hit every house it seemed. My 2 orphan kittens had traveled with me since Tennesee and they found a loving home there with a beautiful family of four. Their adventure had ended with a happy ending and I looked and saw this megalithic structure in the distance. My next stop was Bears Butte or better known as Devils Tower.

“America the Beautiful is its people and its wide array of landscapes to explore”

- Robert Quest

I left the comfort of the lodge to camp the sites of the Black Hills surrounding Devils Tower. I found a utility road outside of town and drove my SUV to its highest point overlooking a canyon below with a drop that appeared to be 1000 feet, maybe more. I set up camp on the flat before me and upon nightfall, met complete darkness. Well, except for the stars and the Milky Way galaxy in all its majestic glory and pageantry for an audience of one. Staring out into the vastness of the galaxy filled me with awe and wonder. I laughed, I danced, I cried tears of joy in appreciation. My inner child had come out to play and I welcomed him for a sleepless, magical, mystical night of healing. I am wonder-ful.

The Spirit of Nature found in Forests, Rivers, Lakes, Creeks, Canyons, Mountains, Plains and Waterfalls is our greatest Healer.

All Life found in Nature such as Bison, Antelope, Deer, Spiders, Snakes and even Kittens can be our greatest teachers.

-Robert Quest

Sadly, after my stay of days on my overlook, it was time to conclude this leg of the adventure and I found my way to a place of culture, adventure, and outdoors. The town of Spearfish, South Dakota is nestled in a valley surrounded by mountains. Flyfishing spearfish creek teeming with rainbow trout was glorious. Driving through picturesque Spearfish canyon admiring the falls was breathtaking. A day turned into a week with one last trail in store.

“There were no demons or devils, the enemy was a part of me, the shadow within, this was an inner journey that appeared as an outer quest for vision”

-Robert Quest

I found a gravel road that leads back to town amid campsites and prairie dogs. I saw a sign about a movie filmed in the forest here. There was an overgrown trail. I walked into those woods with my backpack and walking stick for one last camp. I will be Dancing with my Wolves tonight.

One is the light within and the other, my shadow, the darkness within. The two wolves of Cherokee lore I was born with, the two wolves of us all. I had endured fasting, hail, nights in a tent, thunderstorms, stifling heat, mosquitoes without end, physical and mental exhaustion that stirred the spirit found within my heart.

This vision quest had broken me down in mind, body and spirit. Walking into the deepest darkness within myself with no fear of the darkness was freeing. Layers upon layers of unresolved trauma were healed and restoration replaced them. I became self-less and all for-giving on this soul’s journey.

There were no demons or devils, the enemy was a part of me, the shadow within. This was an inner journey that appeared as an outer quest for vision. The vision I found was an insight of the spiritual kind.

Awakening to my light within from my newfound insight guided me out of the darkness. I had made peace with the past and subdued the dark wolf within. I loved that deepest of darkness, it was all mine, as it was replaced with the love from my heart. A heart that had been beaten unconscious by a heart ignored. Changing my mind into the mind of heart fed my spirit, which in turn fed my soul.

My true self was calling me to be found in the call of the wild. Reconnecting with the spirit of nature was healing. Finding one’s self is empowering and I fell in love with my being. I found my own grail within me and my quest for vision gave my life new meaning. A meaning I would like to share to help others heal themselves on their own soul’s journey.

Who’s next?